You Can Keep Your Hat On

This morning I got up pretty late. Now, I almost never do this, really, but I didn’t take a shower. I just got dressed and put on a little extra cologne. Which I almost never do. Honestly. Naturally, my hair looked ridiculous, so I put a hat on.

I went to work for a while, then left for Discount Tire, where I got a good deal on some tires. I decided to stop by the Taco Shack for a breakfast taco on my way back to work. So, there I am, sitting at a red light at Braker and Metric, waiting to turn left, listening to a Dave Ramsey CD, when CRUNCH.

I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a guy in a white truck cursing himself. He had just rammed my car from behind.

My reaction to things like that is kind of weird. I just wanted it to have not happened. As the light turned green and I started to turn, I had to say to myself (in my head, not out loud — I’m not crazy! ;-), “No, that guy just hit you, you have to pull over.” My instinct was to just keep driving like it hadn’t happened. Is that weird?

Anyway, we pulled into the Walgreens parking lot, and my car looked fine. I got his insurance info and went on to Taco Shack.

Later in the day, I was in the car with Barry (no, my work day is not all driving around). My neck had been hurting since the accident, and I was rubbing it as Barry explained to me who Oliver Cromwell was. In the middle of his explanation, I realized something:

“Hey, I’m not wearing my hat!”

“Okay,” said Barry (who is always very patient when I interrupt him). “I haven’t seen you wearing a hat all day.”

“Dang it! Did I take it off at the tire store? Wha?…” I was truly perplexed. But then I felt bad for interrupting. “Sorry, man, okay. Continue about Cromwell.”

Barry was barely halfway through his next sentence when it hit me. My hair had looked ridiculous that morning, so there is no way I would have taken off my hat. When could it have come off?

I spun around and looked behind the driver’s seat, and there it was on the floor. Apparently, when that guy hit me, my head whiplashed hard enough to knock my hat off! So dazed was I from my mild concussion that I didn’t even notice until hours later.

The moral here is, if you see someone walking around and their hair is ridiculously messy, don’t judge them too harshly. They may have suffered a minor head injury that deprived them of their hat.